I couldn't take it any longer. "Please!" I said when she came down to breakfast, and I handed her a cup of coffee. "I know how you feel! But tell me w...at I can do! I can't stand to see you so miserable! I'll do anything to make it up to you! Anything! Just tell me what to do! Please! You can't know how very very sorry I am!" I went down on my knees, and tried to put my head in her lap. But that's where she had the cup of coffee.She just looked at me, and her face began to break up into tears. Ah, how true! But you now resemble yourmother as she was at your age, except that you have blonde hair, notthat ghastly blue. You are no longer 'Bart'; I name you Cassandra, forno one will ever believe that you did not want this all along."And so 'Cassandra' began her training under Bob's stern supervision:how to put on make-up, how to walk with a wiggle, how to choosefeminine, and slutty clothes, how to pitch the voice higher, how to dolaundry and cleaning dressed as a maid. At first she tried. I am positive we will need you to be the arbiter of numerous things during that month – uncooperative witnesses who refuse to schedule depositions, rulings on contradictory points of law and disputed evidentiary claims, just to name a few. Again, Your Honor, perhaps it would be better for all concerned if you were to hand the docket back to be rescheduled. The last thing we would want is for your vacation schedule to present either the prosecution or the defense with 'reversible error.'"Ah,. I like to wearwhat are commonly referred to as 'women's clothes.' I have no desire tohave sexual reassignment surgery or otherwise live with a femaleidentity. Neither am I interested in a love relationship with anotherman. I am in an entirely satisfactory loving relationship with my wife,and I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank her for herlove and support. She has known of my interest in this for many yearsand has helped me, both by shopping for me and helping me to.
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